Southampton 90210

If anyone asks you, I don't live in the England, right? I'm from Beverly Hills.

See, I was listening to Keane's new album, Under the Iron Sea, and thinking to myself that I cannot think of any similar music.

Then it occurred to me that maybe I hadn't listened to enough music to decide that there wasn't any similar around!

I'd read something a while ago about Pandora. This site builds you personalized 'radio stations' that play music with similar musical qualities to music you tell it you like. The problem is, it needs you to be a US resident, asking for a ZIP code and I could only think of one.

I seeded the station with 'Crystal Ball' from Keane, and then added 'Spitting Games' by Snow Patrol. The result of that and some other decisions I made is Unrational Radio.

Wankers

Big Brother is over - and, no surprise, Pete (aka Tourrettes boy) won it.

Earlier I mentioned that I'd put bets on three of the housemates to win, Pete, Imogen and Glynn. I was hoping for Glynn to win it, purely and simply because I stood to make the most money out of him winning (£21). As it was, with Pete winning, I got £6, which is a measly £1 profit.

Shame you couldn't bet each-way on Big Brother.

eBay gum

It started small, with Tamagotchi batteries; you've got to get your Tamagotchi batteries from somewhere, right?

Then it got a little bigger, an Analogue cable TV receiver; every home should have one.

But I think I could have gone a little too far with the Porsche Boxter.

I'm sure Suzy will understand.

Ingerland

I've surprised myself, once again, at how my brain works. In short, it doesn't.

I see an opportunity to watch a nice football game at the pub with a few friends, fine, great even. Because it's a special occasion, I agree with my wife that it's OK if I go out for a few beers after the game with my friends, just to catch the other matches, fine, great.

So why is it that I went utterly mental?

I can't remember much past about 6 in the evening. I have a vague recollection of a guy called 'Rico' tagging along with us from the first pub, something about ending up in another pub 'after hours' and waking up at home with my shirt on in bed - but other than that, nothing.

Never again (well, until Thursday).

Shoulders

Am I a fetishist?

I find shoulders attractive. A good pair of shoulders, to me, is probably better than a good pair of legs - so why is it that shoulders get such a bad rap?

How many times have you heard someone say 'what a great pair of blades' ? I'll wager (uh-oh, gambling is back) that the answer is never. On the other hand, how many times have you heard someone say they will 'shoulder the blame' or be a 'shoulder to cry on'.

Shoulders are not for crying on, they are for rejoicing in.

Praise the maker.

Grandson of Gamblog

Monumentally bad day!

14:40 Goodwood - Mountain High £5 @ 8/11 lost
15:30 Newmarket - Lets Roll £5 @ 10/3 lost
15:40 Haydock - Escape Clause £6 @ 1/3 lost
16:10 Haydock - Pride Of Nation £5 @ 5/4 won 11.25
16:55 Goodwood Nicada £6.25 @ 17/2 lost

I've withdrawn a bunch of money now, so this is today:-

Movement: down £16 Account: £0 Hand: £42.75

I do have several bets outstanding though...

£5.00 on Germany (sorry) to win World Cup @ 7/1

Potential: £40 (£35)

£1.00 on Schumacher to win Monaco Grand Prix @ 15/8
£1.00 on Alonso to win Monaco Grand Prix @ 13/8

Potential: £2.62 (62p) - £2.87 (87p)

£2.00 on Pete to win Big Brother @ 2/1
£2.00 on Imogen to win Big Brother @ 8/1
£1.00 on Glyn to win Big Brother @ 20/1

Potential: £6 (0) - £21 (£16)

£3.00 on Wayne Rooney to be Top English goalscorer @ 7/1
£4.00 on Steven Gerrard to be Top English goalscorer @ 11/2
£1.75 on Theo Walcott to be Top English goalscorer @ 16/1
£2.00 on David Beckham to be Top English goalscorer @ 10/1
£5.00 on Frank Lampard to be Top English goalscorer @ 9/2

Potential: £22 (£6.25) - £29.75 (£14)

Total Potential: 0 (-£27.75) - £93.62 (£65.87)

All of this came from an initial £10 stake!!!! Great fun!

Big Borether

You should know something about me, I'm very faddy. I am guessing, that if you're reading this blog you probably already realised that I get heavily into something for a while, really enjoy it, and then get bored.

Well, it didn't take long, but I think I've reached the end of my teather with Big Brother. All the interesting people are walking, or have walked, out of the house. The ones that are left are tedious and not in the least bit compelling to watch.

From what I've seen, Pete is going to win it, he's the guy suffering from tourettes.

It's made me interested in finding out more about tourettes. I saw a really interesting looking book about it at Amazon, Don't think about Monkeys which I might get, but it hasn't made me want to sit glued to the TV for the next 3 months!

Fear not dear readers, I'm back.

Son of Gamblog

Bad day today.

20:35 Lingfield Kahlua Kiss £5.00 @ 12/1 lost
15:55 Ayr Secret Liaison £5.00 @ 5/1 lost
14:50 Ayr Deutschland £5.00 @ 6/4 won £12.50
14:40 Goodwood Corridor Creeper £5.00 @ SP lost
14:10 Goodwood Night Crescendo £5.00 @ 4/1 lost

I also put a very shameful bet on something else, which takes another £5 off the account

Movement: down £12.50 Account: £32.50 Hand: £25.00

Gamblog

I have had a roller coaster ride on the horses today (which, if you think about it is an odd image - a carousel ride would be much more fitting).

I have been playing some more with Ladbroke's money. Here are the highlights of today's action:

14:55 Kempton £10 on Fajr @ 9/4 (favourite) lost
15:25 Kempton £5 on Rezzago @ 8/1 (rebound!) lost
20:15 Sedgefield £20 on Heartstopper @ 6/4 (favourite) won £50

Movement: up £15 Account: £50 Hand: £25

Birds words

There is nothing worse in this world than a man using women's words.

I don't mean words about women, no, I mean words that have clearly been designed with ladies in mind. Words like tea-cake, smooch, and yummy.

There really should be a ban on the use of these words, by men, in public places. We have a smoking ban, and, whilst I find the smell of someone else's smoke on my clothes mildly annoying, I find the sound of a bloke telling his friends about the "Yummy tea-cake" he had the other day downright offensive.

In fact, it makes me want to sob.

BB7 Bio: Shahbaz

Age
37
Sex
Male
Occupation
One-time Rent boy
Hero
Patrick McGoohan
Music
Shirley Bassey
TV
Are You Being Served?

Shahbaz loathes hypocrisy, loves not sleeping and adores his mouth. His biggest ambition in life is to knit his own Kylie Minogue to wear to parties.

BB7 Bio: Lea

Age
'35'
Sex
Only if the cameras are rolling.
Occupation
Model
Hero
The Montgolfier Brothers
Music
Gail Williams
TV / Movie
Plastic Fantastic (XXX)

Lea sees herself as a caffeine addicted, honest single mum, with a body 'to die for', although it is also a body that 'she paid for'.

BB7 Bio: Glyn

Age
18
Sex
Male
Occupation
Lifeguard
Hero
David Hasselhoff
Music
Baywatch classics
TV / Movie
Baywatch

Glyn sees it as his duty to show off his sexy body to the nation. Missing his A-Levels to do it, is a bonus. A cunning linguist, Glyn speaks both Welsh and English.

Weak, I am weak

I caved - I had given myself 2 weeks before I would start watching BB7, as it turns out, it only took me 2 days (and it was probably less than that).

I've decided that I cannot keep banging on about Big Brother over here though, so I created a blog specially for that event: bb7-uk.blogspot.com.

What I am going to do, just for fun, is create some unofficial biographies of the housemates, I'm going to add them here - just so you, my avid readers, can join in my latest obsession! Don't worry, other than that, I'll keep the two separate.

Big Brother goes Dahl-ish

Let me see if I understand how this works:

You buy a chocolate bar, find a golden ticket, and get a chance at the big prize?

I have a feeling I've seen this before somewhere. In a book maybe, or, that's right in a film - that nice Johnny Depp man gives away a factory in a competition something like this.

I foretell that the first ticket will be found, by a German. Their name will be reminiscent of a month, June, Julie or something like that - and they will like chocolate.

Are you that soldier?

Tourettes Cash Bonanza

I don't watch Big Brother, but, I think I just saw that they put a guy who claims to have Tourettes syndrome in the house. This is a master stroke from show's creators, Endemol.

They will now not have to bleep any of the Big Brother episodes. Doing so would constitute discrimination. The result? Viewing figures will go through the (already pretty high) roof.

I know it's going to happen. I know I'm going to get sucked in. I almost just gave in and watched the first episode, but I didn't watch it, just the first 2 housemates.

I give myself 2 weeks before I start watching it arse daily.

Could I have a problem?

I now only have £10 of their money.

I have placed 3 bets on the leading goal-scorer for England in the World Cup.

• £5.00 on Frank Lampard at 9/2 paying £27.50
• £2.00 on David Beckham at 10/1 paying £22.00
• £1.75 on Theo Walcott at 16/1 paying £29.75

I reckon it will give me something to cheer for, even if England lose and go out early.

That man-giraffe Crouch (could there be a less apt name?) had better not step up and start scoring goals, nor the poison dwarf - bet they both will now.

Gambling pays

I have just made my first foret into online gambling, and to my surprise, it paid off.

The story goes like this, I have a friend who has a phriend who was receiving some excellent information about horse races. He was going to pass this information on to me, and I was going to make a whopping tax-free profit.

Needless to say, it was a scam - and one that was actually up and running!

The good news is that I didn't get stung. I put a deposit into my online betting account, but never actually got around to making a bet (mainly because I am rubbish at reading my e-mails in time).

The net effect of this however was that I had £10 burning a hole in an online gambling account. So, I thought I'd take a random punt on a race. It was not entirely random, I bet on a horse with relatively short odds, but not the favourite (Spring Margot in the 16:45 at Perth).

It romped home leaving me with £28.75!

I've paid myself back the original tenner and now have £18.75 of their money to play with. Do you know, it really does feel like at least four times that amount!

Not spam, and that's official

I received an e-mail the other day telling me that blogger's automated service had examined my blog and determined that it was likely to be a 'spam blog' - Great!

What is a spam blog? Well, to quote blogger's own definition, a spam blog "can be recognized by their irrelevant, repetitive or nonsensical text...". Now, I appreciate, I am no poet, and not the most eloquent of people, but I have read a great deal more irrelevant, repetitive and nonsensical stuff in other blogs.

A human has now reviewed the content, and I have been cleared of all 'spam' charges. I am slightly disappointed that they didn't give me a rave review, nor propose me for blog of the month, but at least I can go back to posting my inane drivel... Lucky you.

Dude

At what age does it become unacceptable to use the word 'dude' in conversation?

You may think that there is no age at which it is acceptable to use the word 'dude', and you would not be alone in this opinion. The odd thing is, I thought exactly that until I was in my mid twenties, and then, for some reason, it became OK.

I am now in my mid thirties and, the other day, someone responded to my use of the word with the phrase 'how old are you?'. They were right, and it was at this moment that it became apparent to me that all words have a use-by date.

It is worse than that of course, words also have a use-from date. Words like mortgage, retirement and pension for example. The problem is, dictionaries don't contain this information, and I think they should; The government insists that all food stuffs be correctly labeled with this information; so why not words?

The only worry I have is that this will lead to a seedy underground network of 'talking dens' where people go to use illicit words. Sick, sick individuals.